Today's women have been told that they have it all: career, family, children, community involvement, relationships. But when we have everything, we often end up with no time or energy for ourselves.
Recent research shows that women are less happy today than they have been in the past 40 years. There are many theories as to why, but lack of free time may be the main reason.
“Women are under tremendous stress and pressure to be parents, daughters, mothers, wives, and professionals. When all these roles overlap, many of us „It's the energy that sustains us and provides us with all the other responsibilities that we have,“ says Randy Kamen of Wayland, Massachusetts. Gredinger says. psychologist and life coach Specializes in women's issues.
Are you arguing? infant, waiting sleeplessly for a teenager to come home, caring for elderly parents, or all of the above, every woman needs a break from time to time to stay sane. is. This means taking time every day to do something for yourself.
But how can we achieve that?
First, understand how important it is.
„I've been talking to women about this for years, and it seems like we don't even feel like we deserve to be on the priority list,“ says Amy, author of the book・Thiemann says. Mojo Mama: Raising yourself while raising a family He is also the founder of Mojomom.com.
“If you think you deserve it and you can't do it, think about it this way: You're a first responder. An emergency can happen at any time. You need to rest and recover just as much.’ I want you to be an ER doctor or a paramedic,” Tieman says. „Plus, taking care of yourself will make you a better parent and a better partner. You'll be more fun to be around and more sensitive to your family.“
I see, that makes sense. It's time to take time for you. Now, when can I get in? Don't wait for time to magically appear. That won't happen.
Appreciate your free time as much as your pediatrician's appointments, conference calls, and contractor meetings. Treat it like any other appointment.
„You have to build in time to recharge the battery,“ says Margaret Moore, co-director of the Coaching Institute at Harvard Medical School's McLean Hospital. „We're very good at project management at work, but we're not so good at it in our personal lives. We treat it like any other project. We want to recharge our batteries so we don't feel exhausted and drained. ”
Find at least 30 minutes to an hour every day. You don't have to do everything at once. And before you decide what to do with your scheduled time, promise yourself that you won't waste it.
„We're a multitasking society. When we're talking to a friend, we're thinking about other things we have to do,“ says Alison Cohen, a marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles. „Instead, you need to focus on the present moment. No matter what you're doing for yourself, don't think about your shopping list or PowerPoint presentation. There are plenty of hours in the day to have fun. But we don't lose it because we're focused on what we have to do next.“
It doesn't take much time. Here are some ideas for making effective use of your „me“ time, even if it's just 5 minutes.
- Sit on the porch with your coffee and newspaper. Or a cup of coffee no newspaper. Just watch the clouds pass by. Phones and calendars are not available.
- Call your friends and chat. This doesn't mean planning a bake sale or organizing a neighborhood watch. No agenda, just talk.
- Move. Get up from your desk, stretch, walk around the block, or go up and down the stairs.
- Take a deep breath. While sitting in your office, car, home, etc., focus on breathing slowly and calmly for five minutes. It's okay if your mind wanders a little, but instead of starting to plan what you have to do next, just follow your breath.
- Let's pet your pet. Focus on cuddling your cat or dog for five minutes. You'll both feel better.
- Put on your iPod and press shuffle. Then just sit and listen.
- Read that first chapter of the book you've been wanting to make time for. Place a basket in your office or living room filled with books, magazines, crossword puzzles, and other small items of fun.
- Find a nearby park and take a brisk walk.
- putter. This doesn't mean cleaning the house or organizing your children's clothes. Instead, it means doing small things at home that you enjoy, like pruning your rose bush or assembling a bouquet for your office or kitchen.
- Soak in the bathtub. If you're a parent, make sure another adult is on duty so no one yells „Mom!“ Plan so you can stock up on nice bath products. Don't forget a glass of ice water or wine.
- Obtain Massagefacial, or mani-pedi.
- Take a nap.
- Book that class you've always wanted to take just for fun. For example, after Amy Tieman had her daughter, she took her improv comedy class to have a night to herself.
- Plan a long walk with a friend. Work on it at the beginning of the week and stick to that commitment. You're not training for anything or trying to race walk, you're just going for a long walk with a good friend and enjoying the day.
Add your own favorites to these lists. Whatever you do in your “me” time, make sure it’s relaxing and restorative.
„If you feel like it's not working for you, try something else,“ Moore says. „'Should's' are the enemy of relaxation. Think about what will help you grow, not what you should do.“