new diagnosis
In 2019, Borja was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD), which causes mood swings, instability, impulsive behavior and difficulty forming relationships.
„Symptoms of borderline personality disorder include extreme and intense emotions triggered by reactions like abandonment and rejection,“ she says. She feels her symptoms surfaced after she was turned down for jobs and other opportunities.
Amidst the emotional turmoil, it took Borja some time to realize just how much anxiety was driving many of his thoughts and actions. „When you're suicidal, you don't really have time to ask yourself, 'Do I have an anxiety disorder?'“ „Eventually, she tried the prescribed anti-anxiety drug Buspirone (BuSpar). It helped quiet her mind. Along with dialectical behavior therapy, her world began to come into focus.
Dialectical behavior therapy combines weekly talk therapy with group skills training. Take a balanced approach to focusing on your emotions, accepting yourself, and learning how to make beneficial changes. Originally developed to treat women with borderline personality disorder and suicidal tendencies, it is now also used to treat other related problems.
„It helps people like me, who have very high emotions, gain the skills and tools to regulate those emotions so our lives don't seem like chaos every day.“ says Borja. She says exercise, mostly high-intensity interval training, also helps her stay focused.
community is key
„I strongly believe that by building a[mental health]community, we can survive and reduce suicidal behavior and self-harm,“ Borja said. At the same time, they find it difficult to form interpersonal relationships due to fear of being abandoned or rejected. „I talk a lot, but it's hard to talk about my current mental state on a daily basis. I need to be more vulnerable, put myself out there, and be honest with people.“
Borja says resistance to receiving treatment for mental or emotional conditions runs deep in the black community. “Historically, we face a situation where Black people are punished for revealing that they are sad, depressed, or angry. Their families and support systems echo throughout the world. ”
Borja says that the idea of keeping family issues secret is becoming a little more relaxed. „Now[Black people with mental health issues]have a chance to find therapists and other resources.“ But she still sees barriers and racial bias related to care.
Through her website, DepressedwhileBlack.com, Borja tries to connect her followers with understanding therapists. Currently, the program is on hiatus while her team works through a backlog of requests to help her „find a therapist.“
Be your own researcher
„I think treatment-resistant depression is a big part of the suicide crisis,“ Borja says. “If we can treat people suffering from this disease, we can save lives.”
The antidepressant esketamine (Supravat) is the only nasal spray specifically approved by the FDA for treatment-resistant depression, but a variety of other treatments and treatments may be helpful, and research continues. Rudolpher says. Esketamine comes from ketamine. This is a nasal spray that must be administered and monitored by a health care provider.
Borja has asked for insurance to cover esketamine, but says that's not possible at the moment. Meanwhile, she continued her research and learned more about her condition.
„Look into the symptoms, as you may need another diagnosis,“ she says. „And use that research to advocate for yourself. Tell them what else is out there about your diagnosis that your therapist or psychiatrist isn't considering.“
And she says: „It's okay to be wrong. … If the psychiatrist can be wrong, I can be wrong. As patients, we have the right to experiment, fail, and try again. Yes, we have that right.”
„Just experiment, research, and go for it,“ she says. “Please advocate for yourself.”