Symptom management
I have been in therapy fairly consistently over the years. That was the most helpful thing.
I have also taken various medications. When I was first diagnosed, I took SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) for about two years. The effect has worn off, but it was very helpful at first.
I also tried other medications for short periods, including other SSRIs and SNRIs (serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors). They helped me when I needed it. I'm 100% in favor of medication for mental health, but it's not something I feel we need right now. If the situation changes, I will try it again.
It has also brought about many changes in lifestyle. Two years ago, I started working with a personal trainer because I was barely active. I feel stronger and have more energy. I still work with the same trainer four days a week.
By exercising, I try to take care of my body in a way that feels good to me. I also focus on getting enough sleep. I hardly drink alcohol. I focus on keeping a routine and taking care of my mental health.
support of friends and family
I feel lucky to have the support I have. Relationships are very important to me, so I've done a lot to maintain close relationships.
My husband is a wonderful man and has lived with depression. Many of my friends and family have experienced depression and other mental health issues, so I have a lot of understanding.
It helps to have someone listen to you, care about you, and take the time to talk to you about what's going on. Social support is tremendous. I believe that connections with people are very important for growth and healing.
Managing triggers
I don't experience depressive episodes all the time now, but I do feel more susceptible to them. It's interesting because my brain really knows how to get depressed. In a way, it's very familiar and comfortable.
I sometimes feel like a failure. Most of the time the topics are related to my work. I'm a mental health counselor. Running a private practice and trying to help others can sometimes be overwhelming and cause depressive thoughts and symptoms.
You have to do a lot to control your thoughts and not be ashamed of yourself. To release my emotions, I write them down or talk to someone about them. Also, reframe your thoughts to be more thoughtful, such as „I'm enough,“ „I'm trying,“ or „It won't stay this way forever.“
I still spiral from time to time when too much has happened. My main trigger is being overwhelmed by personal and world events. Global events of the past two years have definitely had an impact. These days, it's easy for anyone to feel hopeless or hopeless.
I know my causes, so I try to be proactive. I perform at my best when I get enough sleep, stay active, manage my schedule effectively, and show compassion to myself. Depression likes to be stuck in doubt. The idea that „you're a failure“ or „you'll never get better“ can grow very quickly.
my biggest hurdle
My biggest struggle was in my early to mid-twenties when I had suicidal thoughts. Many times I felt out of control and didn't know if I could keep myself safe. My symptoms were severe and I needed more support. I feel like the treatment saved my life. Medicine was also important. I got over it then, but passive suicidal thoughts still pop up sometimes.
live with ups and downs
My ups and downs in my early 20s were even more intense. Although the roller coaster can still be very tough at times, I usually experience more peace at this point in my life.
When you feel good, you feel good. Sometimes I feel okay.
To get through the ups and downs, I rely on things I know work for me, like going to therapy, getting support from friends and my husband, and staying active.
What we know now
The most important thing I learned is that I am not depressed. It's something I experience and live with, but it's not me.
Depression has helped me grow and expand in ways I probably wouldn't have otherwise. I wouldn't want that for anyone, and I wouldn't choose it for myself if I had the choice. But it's the hand I was dealt and it's okay to see how it shaped me.
It gave me more compassion. That, along with a strong therapist I once had, motivated me to become a therapist myself. That led to supporting others.
I used to hate my depression so much, but not anymore. Even though things have been terrible all these years, it has been an important part of my life and has helped me in many ways.