We all have thoughts that invade our brains from time to time and disrupt our mood. We'll all get off.
Whether it's work, social life, family, or something else entirely, sometimes negative emotions can be too strong.
“We all have it. all We have that,” says Mark Reinecke, professor emeritus of psychology and behavioral sciences at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine.
Dr. Natalie Dattilo, a clinical health psychologist at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston, agrees.
„Thoughts that we classify as negative or unhelpful are very common. We all have thoughts that someone would say, 'Oh, that's kind of negative.'“
Sometimes it is, and sometimes it's just an accurate description of a bad situation. ”
But what can you do about such negative thoughts?
As common as it may be, negative thoughts are not harmless and should not be taken lightly. Research shows that experiencing these symptoms over and over again while suffering from depression or anxiety can lead to serious mental and physical problems.
It may not make much sense to fall into negative thoughts from time to time, or have random negative thoughts here and there. However, if you repeat them over and over again over a period of time, a person can quickly become overwhelmed. Using words like never, always, „It's always going to be this way,“ „I'm never going to be good,“ etc. are red flags.
Ruminating, or dwelling on negative thoughts, can be dangerous.
„People talk a lot about thought loops and thought spirals, this kind of chain of bad things,“ Dattilo says. “It tends to snowball, and that’s where it can become a problem.
“It's not so much the content of the thought, but the process of it, and you can't let it go, and it keeps running through your mind over and over again,” she says. I rarely ruminate on anything else. ”
How can you say that your way of thinking is doing more harm than good?
„Is it affecting your relationships? Is it affecting your work? Is it leading you to do really harmful things like alcohol or drug use? „Is your coping method getting you into trouble? If so, you probably need to talk to someone,“ says Reinecke.
„If it continues, if it lasts more than two weeks, if you just can't get out of this cycle, you probably need to talk to someone.
„If you're feeling suicidal, especially if you've done something like write a suicide note or pick up a pill bottle from your medicine cabinet, you need to talk to someone,“ he says.
Reinecke suggests several strategies to help break the grip of negative thinking. Many of the methods he suggests fall under the category of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), a type of therapy that focuses on ways to change unhealthy thinking and behavior.
Essentially, it's about thinking about how we think. Psychologists and psychiatrists can help you with that.
In the meantime, here are some ideas:
Acknowledge your feelings. Are you saddened by the death of a loved one? Have you been fired? Anyone would be sad. That's serious. We need to realize that it is natural to have negative thoughts.
Identify and clarify your thoughts. Take out your most distressing thoughts. Why is it bad to feel this way? Understand the impact of your thinking. Treat thoughts as objects.
Assess your emotions. Let's calm down and think about it. What is the evidence for and against this idea? Trying to be clear and rational often yields new insights. Put that thought aside, even if just for a moment. „Hmm, that's interesting,“ or „I see.“ When you remove emotions from the equation, you gain a different perspective.
Try approaching it from a different angle. Can you look at this another way? For example: How does this benefit me? Perhaps adversity builds character, resilience comes from loss, and even pain can bring good. You will realize what you are getting.
so what? „So what?“ Reinecke says. „The idea is that whatever you're going through, it's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Death is a part of life. People continue to live and even continue to live even when relationships break down. Grow. Always keep in mind what is causing your negative thoughts and take a long-term view rather than being passive.
Experts suggest various other ways to deal with negative thinking.
Distractions like exercise, reading, puzzles, etc. Meeting up with friends is certainly one way to clear your mind of issues that affect you. Another way to clarify your thoughts is to write things down.
„Sometimes the answer is right in front of you,“ Dattilo says.
Friends and family can help by staying involved. Work with people who are fighting with unhealthy mindsets, and don't retreat from them. You may acknowledge the other person's perspective and lend a sympathetic ear. „Well, it sounds like you have a lot on your mind,“ or „Do you find it helpful to think about it this way?“ — It might be helpful.
Certainly, professional help is always an option. The key to quelling harmful, negative thoughts may not lie in what we think, but in how we think.
„There are many people who tend to see the world as a half-empty glass, but believe that their view is completely valid,“ Dattilo says. “My job is not necessarily to argue with them about it or to persuade them to see the world in a different way.
„My question to them is, 'How does it make you feel to think that way?'“ And if your goal is to feel better, have better relationships, or have more fun. If so, “Is it helpful to you to think that way?”